I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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