Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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