I want to have your abortion
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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