Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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