My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
