i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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