her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
