We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
