Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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