I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We have started to decorate penises.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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