you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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