he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Sober January is a disaster.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
