in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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