last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
