is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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