I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
