But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
