she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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