i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
