Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
