Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize