is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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