I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She's like a pop up book from hell.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
