escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
