have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
