I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize