She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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