im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
