I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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