I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
