i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
