She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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