He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
