he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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