Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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