i'm signing you up for texting rehab
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
