I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize