You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
