What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
