On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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