guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
