sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Randomize