that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
