i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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