Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
