he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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