Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
