Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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