He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Randomize
