I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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