it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The Olympian is in my bed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
