I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
