people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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