i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
