thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize