Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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