We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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