Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Intervention is following me on twitter.

(440): View more from Ohio

wow.

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(408): View more from California

He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.

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(425): View more from Washington

Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.

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(760): View more from California

I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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(+61): View more from Australia

He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.

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(616): View more from Michigan

please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it

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(651): View more from Minnesota

fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me

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