I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
