I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This is not my ceiling
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
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