I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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