So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
