Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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