So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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