K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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