plz talk dirty to me
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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