he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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