Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
