I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
