now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
