At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize