He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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