Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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