I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
