I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i've created a new STD.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
