This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
