I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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