Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
