Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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