i just wanna soil my oats bro
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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