FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I could fuck to npr.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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