No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
